When I think about domestic violence, it is rarely through the eyes of a man being abused by his lover, another man. The signs and marks are the same for women in abusive relationships as it is for victims in same sex relationships. Samuel P. Holloway III tells a compelling story in his book, “Eyes Without a Face,” of his journey from a broken home, to prostitution, to marriage and to finally finding himself and his true purpose in life. I spoke to Samuel a few months ago and his story was very touching on so many levels. Of his book, Samuel said, “this book truly took me on an emotional ride.” That it did for me at least and I am sure it will for you too.
Who is Samuel P. Holloway III? He was born Robert Theotis Edmond on December 15, 1978, in Gary, Indiana. He was raised by his mother and didn’t connect with his father until his teenage years. He later took his father’s name, as an act of defining who he really was. He was molested as a child by one of his mother’s boyfriends and also by his brother’s friends.
“Eyes Without a Face” is one man’s story of how he overcame adversity, domestic violence in a gay marriage and finally found his voice. This comes as domestic violence incidents continue to rise and domestic violence murders are at an all-time high. Last weekend, Zina Haughton’s life was cut short by her estranged husband, Radcliffe Haughton, who had terrorized her for years — slashing the tires on her car, pouring tomato juice all over her car, threatening to throw acid on her, and many more despicable acts. The Milwaukee County Circuit court granted her an order of protection on October 18. She was dead three days later, along with two other women at the Azana Salon & Spa in Brookfield, Wisconsin. Four others were wounded and Radcliffe Haughton committed suicide.
Like many victims of domestic violence, Samuel tried to leave his then-husband, but just couldn’t. Something kept him in the painful relationship until the last altercation turned physical and he decided that was his breaking point. There is another element that I would like to address in Samuel’s story — he was molested as a child by a male figure in his life. A man who he called father, though not his biological father. I understand the emotional rollercoaster this can cause, so much so that it can follow you into adulthood. I understand completely how Samuel felt at being molested as a child. I, too, was molested as a child, by a woman I trusted. It’s a painful story that has taken me 35 years to share. It robs you of your innocence in so many ways. It’s quite sad.
Samuel Holloway recounts the path he took in life with raw emotion and I must admit, some parts broke my heart, while other sections of the book were shocking. But the honesty and candor with which he writes, makes his journey all the more inspiring and powerful. I was curious as to what motivated him to turn to a life of male prostitution and his response was quite simple — he was earning far more than he had ever earned in life and could do whatever he wanted. Sebastian introduced him to the life of a male escort, with his late-model BMW and the “good life” that money brought — that 60/40 split. He felt his “boss” was manipulating him, because he got the lion share of the “jobs.” He went from being emotionally owned by his molesters to being owned by a pimp.
Samuel married his “soul mate” August 4, 2008, and his life took another turn he hadn’t planned on, two years later, to be exact. There had been hints of some infidelity about a year after the marriage, but it wasn’t as glaring until they moved to Dallas in 2010. That’s when things collapsed. Samuel, like many victims of domestic violence couldn’t make a clean break. He returned to relationship after leaving until things turned physical and the police were summoned. Samuel was beaten, shot and left for dead by a young man his husband had an affair with. After recuperating, Samuel decided to move to Atlanta for a fresh start. We have to hit rock-bottom before we can find the courage to start anew. Well, Samuel hasn’t looked back since December 2010.
Why am I sharing his story? Domestic violence happens more often than you can imagine and we can’t sweep it under a rug, until it escalates to murder-suicide. Adversity shouldn’t define you and hold you in bondage. I applaud Samuel Holloway III for sharing this story and would encourage others to read his book. He ends by saying:
Some said I couldn’t do it
Some said I wouldn’t amount to anything
But I never let that take away my pride
I never let it kill my dreams…..
Do you see some of me in you?
Now come try walking in my shoes
Listen to my interview with Samuel Holloway:
Visit Samuel Holloway’s website at: http://samuelholloway3.com/Home_Page.html
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