A married couple will always find themselves arguing about potential cheating, adultery, etc. from time to time. What’s funny is, when you question couples who have such arguments by asking “Do you think your spouse would ever cheat on you?” The reply of many is “no”.
What the?! What the?!
Why do some married couples argue about what isn’t true regarding one another’s history and character? Doing this is a waste of time, time which could be used to ensure their marital health, vibrancy and strength.
TRUE STORY – A woman treats her husband like a cheater – not because he is, as a matter of fact, she justifies her treatment by telling him “Well, you are a man and men are prone to cheat.”
In response to her assessment the husband states, “Well, you are a prostitute and I don’t trust that when you say you are going to work you are actually always going to work. I sometimes think you are held up in a hotel room making money on the side selling your body.”
In response to his rant the wife becomes angry and shouts – “How dare you say and think that about me! I would never do such a thing and you know it.”
The husband, after she finishes her tirade says to her, “Well, you are a woman and many women sell their bodies to make ends meet.”
The wife replies, “That’s ridiculous!”
The husband quickly responds, “And it is just as ridiculous for you to believe I would cheat on you because of your belief that ‘all men eventually cheat’.”
In marriage, a couple must remind themselves of their spouse’s positive & consistent history. If the history is not there – don’t operate as if it exists. Don’t treat one another as guilty when you know it doesn’t match the historical narrative of their life.
- If you have been blaming your spouse for actions you know they have no history of performing – look them in the face and apologize sincerely for how you have manipulated your emotions to serve ends that only create havoc and disharmony in your marriage.
- If you are a spouse being falsely accused of infidelity, take your spouse to a local park as a quick date and ask them to share with you the real fear they are facing concerning you. Listen closely because they will likely have much to say, but until you ask they may never feel comfortable expressing or communicating their fear properly.
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