In a recent soft study conducted on Facebook it was determined that 80% of correspondents are AGAINST the concept of RELATIONSHIP BREAKS. Of the 20% who agreed, their agreements were with conditions.
In Part I of this series we explored a question posed by Judge Lauren Lake (@LaurenLakeEnt) the host of PATERNITY COURT (@PaternityCourt), as she inquired to know what people thought about the subject of Relationship Breakups. In recent news, famed actress Gabrielle Union (@ItsGabrielleu) and – NBA Superstar – Dwyane Wade (@DwyaneWade) and Hip Hop Rapper – Ludacris (@Ludacris) and long time girlfriend – Eudoxie Agnan – have made news because the two “gentlemen” involved are alleged to have fathered babies during recent breaks in their relationships. #BreakOrBroken
Is this a developing trend in society where relationships aren’t truly relationships when the two involved are on a relationship break? The thought of this conversation fired up the Social Media World.
READ PART I | WHAT CONSTITUTES A RELATIONSHIP BREAK?
PATERNITY COURT, recently reported by TV NEWS CHECK (@TVNewsCheck), “…recorded its highest rating ever in households, adults 25-54 and women 25-54 (tie).” It is believed that the success of the show, by in large, is due to the unique and cutting-edge hostess Judge Lauren Lake.
What does a Relationship Break mean? #FacebookFriends2TheRescue
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To Niya Marie Scott-Smith, seeking to provide her spin on the definition shared, “‘A break’ is broken up. I expect him to stay out my business and face. He has no rights unless we have decided to stay friends. It is what it is: over.” It is hard to argue with her definition given so many others on the social media site Facebook expressed their agreement.
But, if being on a BREAK means BROKEN UP why would anyone “agree” to these terms believing a healthy relationship can be established through it? Well, not everyone is against the idea. Case in point, Sharronda Optimistic Wheat, shared her thoughts on the subject, “Typically a break is needed when bickering and fighting is interfering with proper communication, or when there are issues that require careful consideration and not just an emotional response. So if someone is asking to separate to sort things out. That’s pretty much all that they should be doing. Now if you’re weighing your options, or desiring to see other people; just be honest.”
Is “separating to sort things out” the true goal of a breakup and is it plausible to think that those same couples don’t need a break from the relationship to properly communicate with one another? Can’t a break cause more problems than it was originally supposed to fix?
Chiming in on this subject was Shirley Tarkington who directed the question to her co-workers and reported back one response, “…my co-worker just said the last time he took a break he found out the grass wasn’t greener and he lost 25lbs seeing what he broke from hooked up w/someone else.” In this response, the male co-worker admitted to agreeing to go on a relationship break, but quickly discovered while in it that it was a mistake.
#RealTalk? Donna Djfemmie Jackson jumped into the conversation and shared, “SIMPLE, YOU SCREW OTHER PEOPLE AS MANY AS YOU WANT and then use the excuse u were on a break.” (replied in All Caps) #OMJesus
Donna’s comment garnered the many replies. It appears that relationship breaks are also an abandoning of communication during the break. Da Tanya HEsawthebestnme Washington expressed, “What’s a break? If there is a break that is silly to have expectations while on one – And please DON’T meddle in my break business.”
Not everyone agreed with Da Tanya’s focus and many didn’t wait to chime in. Kimberly Peake commented, “Be cautious, practice safe sex and last but not least NO BABIES!!!!” If Kimberly is being understood correctly she is admitting that a relationship break might include sexual escapades with other people, but the rule would be to practice sex safely and no pregnancies. What is interesting regarding the two high profile cases mentioned earlier – is that neither practiced safe sex and babies were produced. Although this was the outcome of the “breakup” both women involved were willing to continue in their relationships. #IsItTheFameFortuneFinances
Maurio Lowery Cole expressed in near agreement, “EVERYONE had valid points and we must understand not everyone must conform to what society thinks. If you and that person you are involved with make an agreement to take a BREAK, then so be it, it sounds scary but if it is meant to be then it will be. FAITH will win every time.”
However, there was at least one man who took a slightly different angle on Relationship Breaks. Moses Carroll chimed in with the following, “…taking a break is a great opportunity for ANYONE in a relationship. Sometimes you need a weekend with the girls or boys ‘cause your mate – as much as you love them – can get on your damn nerves! But that’s not a Hall Pass to go be ridiculous…”
The majority of responses were totally against the idea of Relationship Breaks. Anson Y. Lawson Sr. remarked, “…to me…on a break is non-existent! You’re either in a relationship or you’re not. A break means a “break~ up”. No relationship. And then you expect to come back to the same person and expect to have no drama? You weren’t with that person, talked to that person, interacted with that person, nothing.”
In a moment of confession, Bernadette Walters shared a personal truth, “I was the one proposing it almost every other month and he was the one like “hell nah!” After 5yrs in the end we ended up on, I guess, what was break and we never reunited amicably. We BROKE up period. Although he actually thought I would come back just to be put in his rotation to JUST date…DON’T think so. You wana lay down with this fabulousness while you’re playing around with mediocre kitty’s. IM NOT THE ONE JACK. I never looked back!!” #DidSheWriteMediocreKitty #WOW
It is tough to say whether a relationship break is good or bad, but the majority of folks don’t seem to agree with the idea regarding their relationships and wouldn’t agree to such propositions. There are other options for couples in crisis to take rather than a relationship break. Relationship Education, Pre-Marital Education, Communication courses are other solutions for restoring a relationship back to health.
In the end, I couldn’t conclude this article without one final controversial response. It comes to us by way of Sharnice Perryman Evans [not related, I think] who said, “Honestly men can’t handle a break because they can’t handle someone else handling their woman! They say they can but they’re only fooling themselves and if a woman fall for the low they fooling themselves as well. They usually say a break because they’re too cowardly to just break up.”
This brings us full circle to the opening of article one – “Break up to make up, that’s all we do – First you love me then you hate me – That’s a game for fools…” Tell me, are you the fool or the one doing the fooling?
GOOD DAY/NIGHT & GOD BLESS!!!