Grand jury refuses to indict man accused of throwing beer at Ted Cruz

Houston Astros fan Joseph Halm Arquidiacono should be celebrating another victory this week as he was not billed by a grand jury for throwing cans of alcohol at Senator Ted Cruz during the World Series team parade in early November.

Arcidiacono, 33, was initially charged with “aggravated assault with a deadly weapon” and posted $40,000 bail after throwing two unopened cans of what appeared to be “White Claw” at a senator as he waved crowd on Smith Street. After the incident HPD announced via Twitter that Cruz was shot in the chest and neck but did not require medical attention, and that Arcidiacono was arrested.

During the arrest, Arcidiacono allegedly told the officers: “I know, I’m an idiot. I’m really sorry”.

According to Arcidiacono’s lawyers, the defendant believed his “dream” was to have an Astros player drink one of the beers from his fridge during the parade, as many athletes are known to do. Arcidiacono also claimed that he tried to toss the can to Cruz in the hope that he would open one and swallow it. (We recommend a more casual underhand throw, such as a slow pitch softball, if anyone tries it in the future.)

“Many lavish, hilarious, semi-silly, legendary moments happened during the Astros championship parades,” Arcidiacono’s lawyers said in a statement. “Hopefully there will be many more such events in the coming years. all time. This is a widely known thing. To make them puff.” The statement also apologized to Cruz and ultimately asked for “mercy” and the charges being dropped.

Cruz largely brushed off the incident, joking about Arcidiacono’s weak throw. “As always, I am grateful to the Houston Police and the Capitol Police for their prompt action,” Cruz said in a statement. “I’m also grateful that the clown who threw his White Claw had noodles for an arm.”

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