How well will Texas cities survive the zombie apocalypse?

HBO Last of us the first of its kind, a video game adaptation that actually, um, good. Series based on a pair of video games proclaimed Lawrence of Arabia media, it’s a zombie apocalypse nightmare that deviates from Walking Dead the tropes of a collapsed civilization, instead showing what happens when a society struggles to hold on under world-changing circumstances. These zombies are neither viral nor mystical – they are the product of a fungal infection that turns anyone exposed into a host host, only bent on spreading to (and/or eating) those around them.

The first thirty minutes of the pilot episode, which aired on Sunday, shows the development of the 2003 fungus outbreak through the eyes of a teenage girl named Sarah, who lives in Austin (or at least the television version of Austin, which looks suspiciously like Albert, Canada). As she tries to find her father Joel (played by former San Antonian Pedro Pascal) and uncle Tommy (Austin native Gabriel Luna), the institutions of society begin to crumble around her. In the end, the trio get into a pickup truck in an attempt to get out of the city.

The show version of Austin doesn’t handle the apocalypse very well. Traffic in the city becomes downright oppressive, foreshadowing what twenty years of development will do to the highways even if it wasn’t for the explosion of the mutant fungus people. However, when Joel and Tommy return to the city roads, the situation is no better: the locals flood the street like it’s Halloween on Dirty Six, which turns out to be a bad choice when the military starts driving armored vehicles and shooting without asking questions. Even the laid-back neighborhood that the city once prided on turns out to be a trap: when Sarah tries to help an elderly, disabled neighbor, she learns that a zombie infestation can turn even a lovable, mostly spoon-fed old-timer. into a raging killing machine. Eventually, jumping twenty years into the future, we learn that Joel and his surviving family have left town for the cozy confines of Boston’s quarantine zone.

According to Last of usco-showrunner, Craig Mazin (fun fact: he was Ted Cruz’s roommate in college!), the series will tie in closely with the games’ story without making wild detours to explore the wider world where non-mainstream characters live. heroes. . As such, we’re unlikely to get an update on what the 2023 version of Austin will look like, which has been plagued by zombies for the past two decades. (We’ll just assume they drive Teslas and paint their giant newly built homes black for some reason.) You also never know, like, say, Amarillo, Dallas, El Paso, Houston, or San Antonio. lived when fungal spores began to turn Texans into diseased monsters, seeking only to devour and / or infect others – unless, of course, you read our speculation below, ranking these cities from best to worst in case of an epidemic. The last of us– Apocalypse style!

5. Houston

Houston has the heaviest traffic in Texas and a giant barrier called the Gulf of Mexico that keeps people trapped. Give your loved ones a big hug if the zombie apocalypse hits Houston – you’ll be eating their flesh in a few hours.

four. Dallas

Even in normal times, it seems that civilization in Dallas is only a few hours away from descending into lawlessness – ask anyone who has committed the serious crime of actually speeding on a toll road! Accordingly, we are not very sure about the chances of survival of those in the center of the Metroplex when the military begins to arrive in the city. The 2003 Austin that appeared on the show was still a city of smokers and students; Dallas is likely to fire back. We are unlikely to know for sure, but the likelihood that Dallas, existing in Last of usThe 2023 universe is virtually non-existent after days of skirmishes between the locals, an invading military dictatorship, and zombified mushroom people. You’ve got a good run, Dallas.

3. San Antonio

2003 San Antonio is likely to be similar to the Austin that appears on Last of us, but it will be even more difficult for residents to get out of the city. The city’s population was almost twice that of the capital, and the infamous erratic traffic could be a real problem for anyone who wanted to escape to the Hill Country. San Antonio doeshowever, have a tradition of being the last bastion for the besieged, which is why we honor that by saying that we expect, even in the event of a zombie apocalypse, that some people will squat in the Alamo, cosplaying Davy Crockett and enjoying their last tacos before being infected. and/or by plane from Lackland Air Force Base puts an end to any dreams of the last frontier that they make come true.

2. El Paso

As Joel, Tommy, and Sarah plan their escape from Austin in the pilot episode, they discuss where to go. Mexico, Joel muses aloud. El Paso, however, would demonstrate the unwiseness of this plan – there is little to no demarcation between the US side of the border and Mexico, and any infected people who show up in Sun City are also likely to chew on their friends and family in Juarez. . In addition, El Paso’s proximity to Fort Bliss means that the military backlash, which proves to be just as devastating in the series as the zombies, is likely to be even more pronounced. Perhaps there is some civilization in the mountains, but it is equally likely that these hills will be a springboard for troops who will shoot down your family as soon as they look at them.

1. Amarillo

West Texas is sparsely populated, meaning that the zombie outbreak that could turn Austin into a nightmare of neighbors chewing on each other’s jugulars for hours could go virtually unnoticed on the outskirts of a place like Amarillo. There are probably more sirens than usual, and anyone watching TV will probably know that something strange is going on in New York and Washington, D.C., at least until the broadcast is interrupted. However, while Interstate 35 and US 290 can be clogged with cars trying to get out of town, traffic near Amarillo is likely to consist of people looking for a safe, remote vacation spot. stop. Things can get tense inside the city limits, but a West Texas city of less than 200,000 people and plenty of open space outside of the city is a pretty good place to find yourself when mushrooms start to take over the minds of those unfortunate enough to inhale them. disputes.

Ultimately: the zombie apocalypse will be a real bummer for all but the most remote and rural residents of Texas – and soon it will start to suck for them too. (Eventually, COVID came to the countryside as well.) We hope we can continue to just enjoy those Sunday night zombie nightmares on HBO and not try to live through them—because anyone who has played the games can ruin this one for you. the apocalypse never ends well for anyone.

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