Curiosity and infatuation tend to consume the mind when you begin dating someone. The newness of the relationship is exhilarating, exciting, and all-encompassing. All you want to do is indulge in fun activities and enjoy each other’s company. The time has passed before you know it, and you are getting more serious. Whether you’ve gone exclusive, moved in together, or even gotten engaged, it’s a significant milestone in your relationship that will require great effort to maintain.
After the infatuation fades and the newness subsides, you and your significant other settle into a routine. It is often at this point that your relationship is put to the test. As you guys grow familiar, you realize things you didn’t notice before. Unfortunately, some realizations lead to breakups, but some couples thrive and build a relationship that stands the test of time. How do they accomplish this? By having discussions about what really matters early in their relationship.
Bad habits are easy to hide when you’re dating because you live in different residences and only see each other occasionally. However, it’s harder to keep a secret once your relationship gets more serious. Whether you have a poor diet or struggle with addiction, it’s something you should discuss.
Imagine what happens to your relationship if your unhealthy eating choices result in a life-long disease like diabetes. What will you do if you start experiencing problems in the bedroom or wet brain symptoms from your years of alcohol abuse?
Although you fear that exposing your bad habits could push your partner away, it’s better to be upfront. That way, you both can decide what you can tolerate and even develop a plan to support each other in overcoming the bad habits.
All too often, couples end up feeling resentful because they gave up their dreams for the sake of the relationship. While part of being in a serious relationship means compromising, you don’t have to give up on things you’ve always wanted. That’s why you should discuss your aspirations with your partner during the dating phase.
Before you got into that relationship, what were your goals? Where did you see yourself in the next five to ten years? Let your partner know if you’ve always dreamed of living on a farm, starting a business, or traveling the world. Ultimately, it gives you both an opportunity to see how your aspirations align so you can both live life without regrets.
Insecurities Or Past Traumas
Anyone that’s been in a long-term relationship will tell you that it has a way of exposing some of your biggest weaknesses and insecurities. The more time you spend together, the more your partner encounters those things you tried so hard to bottle up and forget.
Do you have anger management issues that cause you to respond aggressively when things don’t go your way? Perhaps you have abandonment issues from childhood and have become a clingy adult. Maybe you have some unresolved problems in your family that caused you to cut off all contact.
Being vulnerable may not be your strong suit, but you owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest. Talk about issues you struggle to deal with and explain what steps or strategies you’re trying to make improvements. Doing so can help your partner understand you better when times are difficult. They also have an opportunity to provide advice or be a source of support.
There’s a lot of content out there about discussing finances, careers, and family life when taking your relationship to the next level, but a lot gets overlooked. If you want a relationship that will last a lifetime, you must be willing to have serious conversations. While no one expects you to unload such sensitive topics on the first few dates, ensure that you talk about the suggestions listed above before things get too serious. It saves you time, gives you better insight on how to be there for each other, and builds a bond that enables you guys to go the distance.