There is nothing quite like the pain of a broken heart. When we’re experiencing this type of pain, it can feel as if we’ll never fully recover or ever be able to love again.
But, as impossible as it may seem at the time, a broken heart can be mended; if you’re suffering right now, there are some things you can do, starting today, to help you pick yourself up and begin the process of healing and moving on.
Take Some Time
It can feel as if we’re under pressure to get over the end of the relationship quickly and move on by starting to date or picking up our previously discarded single life as if nothing had happened. In the vast majority of cases, however, taking some time to reflect and fully experience our emotions is vital when we’ve suffered a broken heart. Without going through this process, it can be impossible to move on in any meaningful way.
Try to resist feeling as if you need to problem-solve at this time or make decisions when you are likely to be very emotional. Instead, reach out to friends and family, and be open about how you’re feeling. Let yourself have the space you need to grieve the loss of the relationship, and don’t be tempted to rush this process and let those that care for you help and give support if you’re able to.
This can be very difficult to do when we’re suffering from a broken heart: we may feel disinterested in taking care of ourselves or could be harboring feelings of anger or shame if we feel we have contributed to or been the cause of the breakup.
To begin mending your heart, you first of all need to find and practice compassion for yourself. Talking to a trusted friend can help you to work through things – or you may find that speaking with a trained therapist or counselor can help you.
Put in place some simple self-care routines and commit to following them as you heal. Be sure to nourish your body with healthy, comforting food, stay hydrated throughout the day, and try to avoid alcohol, which can heighten your emotions or have a depressive effect. You may not feel like exercising, but some gentle, regular physical activity, such as walking around the block, swimming, or practicing Pilates, can help you feel better in both body and mind.
Reconnect With Your Interests
Once you’ve given yourself some time to grieve and have established some sound self-care rituals, it’s time to think about picking up once more the hobbies and interests that you may have enjoyed before the relationship, but that got gradually jettisoned at some point during the partnership.
Whether you previously loved dancing and attended a weekly class, enjoyed crafts, were partway through a History degree, or had an interest in crystals, astrology, and esoterica, and if this is the case, have a look here for the best online psychic reading services, think about taking this up again.
Reconnecting with the things that hold meaning to you is a powerful way to promote the process of healing your heart and beginning to move on.
Move On…But Remember the Good Times
This is a tricky one, but both elements of this are important. Start by acknowledging where you may be prone to viewing the previous relationship through rose-tinted glasses; it’s entirely natural to do this, but it can also prevent us from moving on. Try to come to peace with the relationship as it was in reality and how it ended – there may be an element of self-forgiveness required here, and you can build on the self-compassion practice that we touched on above to help with this.
To help this process of moving on, it’s vital to try as hard as you can to resist the urge to compulsively check your ex-partner’s social media or Facebook stalk them – this can never have a good outcome and is likely to only get in the way of your healing.
However, it’s also valuable to allow yourself to recognize and feel gratitude for any good memories of the relationship that come up. This may be emotional, but ride the feelings out, rather than repressing them, and honor the happy memories while also committing yourself to moving on. If you can forgive your ex-partner, should you feel they have acted wrongly, then this can be an incredibly healing action to take, too – although it may need time.
And When You’re Ready – Try Again
…but only if you want to! There are no rules when it comes to dating again, but if you feel as if you would like to have a go, then take things at your own pace, and be gentle with yourself through the process. Try not to feel pressured or go on every first date hoping that you’re about to meet ‘the one.’ Instead, approach dating as an opportunity to meet new people – and for them to be lucky enough to get the chance to spend time with you!